Sister Croft

First Earthquake!!

2012-02-20T17:11:00.000-08:00

This week was really really interesting. A lot of crazy stuff happened. Like, lots. BUT, just the highlights for you.
[M]. This is the brother that drank coffee. We went over to his house again to teach him, and we told him that the mission president said he cannot be baptized on the 26th. We testified once again of the importance of obedience and the sacredness of baptism by proper priesthood authority. Then it all sort of exploded after that. His wife,who is a long-time member of the church got really angry and defensive. His brother-in-law,also a long-time member, started telling us that things like the word of wisdom are laws of man and not of God. [M] was the least angry of all the bunch. His wife got so mad she stood up and left the room and told us she didn't want to go to church anymore. It was probably one of the saddest experiences of my mission, not because I felt attacked or offended--I surprisingly didn't feel so!--but because it hurt to see that this family couldn't accept the commandments. It's sometimes very hard when there's nothing more you can do for someone--when they know the truth and they they know the commandments, but they exercise their agency in a way that makes them lose the blessings their Heavenly Father has prepared for them. Thankfully they showed up at church on Sunday, which made me so happy, but there is still a lot of preparation that needs to take place. But whatever it takes, when they do accept the commandments, they will be all the happier for having chosen to be obedient and worthy to enter into covenants.
Guess what!!!! I felt my first earthquake. During companionship study we were reading Preach My Gospel and the building shook for about 3 seconds. I freaked out and my blood pressure went craaaaaaaazy but nothing bad happened.
This week we started teaching a lot of new people. We have quite the variety of investigators right now! One of them is a hard-working mom that loves her children, but feels like this life is only meant for suffering. Another one is a woman that has a lot of vices and sadness in her life, but is so humble and so willing to change her life to draw closer to Christ. Another one is a man who seems to have nothing in his life but his job, but who wants to understand the scriptures. We started teaching a couple that let us into their home, fed us lunch and sang us a Mexican gospel song, and ate up the idea of genealogy and eternal families, but is tied to Catholic traditions that really are a part of how they've formed their identities, both within their culture and within their families. Everyone is so different! It's really true that as missionaries, we need to teach people and not lessons (see Elder Matthew Richardson's talk from last General Conference). Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to know what to teach to all of these people, because their needs are so incredibly different. They come from different backgrounds, have different trials and expectations, different beliefs and doubts, etc. My conclusion is that I really don't know what to teach, and I won't know what to teach, and I CAN'T teach, unless I have the Spirit with me (see Doctrine and Covenants 50)! Like Elder Croft (hee hee, awesome) Sister Camarillo and I talked a lot with [some Christian Church] this week, like every day for a few days straight. It's true, they really do know and study the Bible really intensely, and a few of them were trying so hard to tear our words down with leading questions and Biblical citations. But as long as we overcame the temptation to start fighting over details, and instead focused on bearing testimony of the Savior and the Restored gospel, I never felt intimidated or attacked. I know what I know, and I know this is the true church!
Hilariousness from this week: in Sacrament Meeting, the closing hymn started, and NOBODY was singing except my companion and I. Nobody! For at least a whole line of the first verse! Bahaha, so funny. Our ward struggles with the music sometimes, but I always love it. Also, Sister Camarillo and I were almost attacked by a bat! I felt awful. It was night and we parked the car and started walking a little to get to the house we were going to, and there was squeaking and black shadowy stuff above us. My poor companion--still in her first two weeks on the mission and her trainer drags her out into the night to be attacked by bats! Don't worry--nothing happened.

First week of the transfer!

2012-02-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

So, my new companion is here! Her name is Sister Camarillo and she was born in Mexico City, lived most of her growing up years in Provo, and then moved around in Mexico. She used to live in Monterrey, where Nathan served his mission! She's doing really great and I'm learning a lot from her. She comes from an awesome family. She has 2 younger sisters and a younger brother, and her family lives in Mexico right now. Her dad is in charge of the Church's humanitarian program for the whole country of Mexico! She's a great missionary and she's working hard and learning very quickly.

It's interesting how the Lord gives you exactly what you need to be able to grow. I was shocked to be assigned to be the senior companion and a trainer so early on, but I'm already seeing that this is exactly what I need to be able to grow into the missionary the Lord wants me to be. I've learned in just a few days what it means to truly lose yourself in the work. It's interesting because I see missionary work a lot differently now that I'm the senior companion in my area. This assignment has really helped me recognize the sacredness of this time that we have to be working in this companionship and in this area, and that the Lord really has blessed us with a wonderful opportunity and we can't afford to waste a minute of it. I'm completely exhausted, and so happy. I've never been this exhausted in my whole life, not even when I had my 4:00 AM job or when I didn't sleep at all in high school. But I've never felt more urgently the desire to keep working. The Lord has been very merciful in helping me learn how to really serve Him with everything I have.

Anyway, now I shall describe my week. :) Monday involvled lots of crying. Lots of it. We had an appointment with the family [was baptized a few weeks ago] and Sis. Osborn had to say goodbye. It was very hard for everybody. We taught a lesson on endure to the end, and we know that this family will continue to live the gospel, even when the missionaries leave. They are wonderful.

On Tuesday we woke up early in the morning to finish packing everything to send Sis. Osborn off to San Mateo. We got everything packed and went to Oakland. I said goodbye to my companion, which was totally weird because we've gotten so close over the past 2 transfers. Then I was companions with Sister Essig, from the English program in San Leandro. I got to work in her area and be her companion for Tuesday and most of Wednesday. She's a great missionary and I learned a lot from her!

On Wednesday I got to work in the Visitor's Center with Sister Essig. I LOVED it! It is such a wonderful place, and the Spirit is definitely the teacher there. I got to teach a father and son that came in. I had to do it by myself because Sister Essig doesn't speak Spanish, but it was a great experience to be able to teach with the resources of the Visitor's Center. Awesome! I also met a man who walked in, not knowing anything about the church, but who has read the Book of Mormon one and a half times. He told us he prayed about it and he had a powerful experience and knows it's true! This was a few years ago, and he's never met with missionaries at all. Amazing! We got his information and hopefully he will meet with the missionaries soon. In just one day at the VC I saw lots of miracles!

On Wednesday night I got to meet Sister Camarillo. We had a short meeting with all of the trainers and new missionaries, and then headed home so she could get some rest.

On Thursday, we started out by going to Auto Zone to get a new light bulb for the rear blinker of our car. An easy fix, right? Yes, maybe. We knew how to change the bulb but couldn't get it off because it was on too tight, so we asked the AutoZone guy for help. He tried to help us but couldn't get it off, so we decided to just buy the bulbs and have the mission take care of it later that day. As he walked away I followed him to give him an invitation to receive a copy of the Book of Mormon. As I was talking to him about the Book of Mormon, I heard the trunk of our car slam, and my heart dropped because I realized that the keys were in the trunk. NOOOOOOO!!! Ay-ay-ay. The AutoZone guy laughed at us and went inside, and I started trying to stop myself from panicking. I called my district leader and told him we would be over an hour or so late to district meeting (basically all of district meeting), and then called Oakland to tell them we needed someone to bring us keys. My wallet, my planner, and everything except the phone and my purse were in the car. That left us with a set of Spanish scriptures, about 10 pass-along cards, a cell phone, and an hour and a half of time that needed to be used effectively. I felt HORRIBLE. My first day as a trainer and my brand-new companion and I were locked out of the car with almost nothing. So we did street contacting! It was actually good because it was a nice way to get a feel for Sister Camarillo's teaching style and personality, and we did talk to a lot of people. Unfortunately none of them spoke Spanish, but it's ok! I felt like puking the whole rest of the day because I felt so guilty for missing district meeting and wasting the time of the person who had to come from Oakland to open our car. We did get about 6 referrals for the Tagalog program, so maybe that's why we were there.

Other highlights from this week.... It's actually been quite a tough week as far as investigators go. Let me 'splain.

[G], who had a baptismal date, dropped us this morning. We had an appointment with her on Saturday and we were trying hard to resolve her concerns about church. When I was in San Leandro, I called her and asked her how she was doing. I had talked to her after church and she said that she loved it, that she wanted everyone to be baptized, etc. Then on the phone when I called her from San Leandro, she talked straight for 15 minutes about how she didn't ever want to go to church again because everyone is rich and she's poor, and how she felt like the people who gave their testimonies in fast and testimony meeting were trying to compete with each other for who had the best testimony, etc. It was awful. I was trying so hard not to cry during that conversation. During our lesson with [G] on Saturday, it was the same thing. She's also stopped reading the Book of Mormon and told us straight up that she didn't want to come to church. We tried to teach the doctrinal importance of church attendance, but she has so many problems, in her family, with her self-esteem, with her preoccupations on being at church, that nothing changed. This morning she called me and said that she doesn't have time to meet with us and that she'll call us when she's ready. Sad. :( She is such a good woman, and she will get baptized someday.

[M] had a baptismal date last week. It was a miracle because he has been investigating the church for FOREVER. When I was in San Leandro I called him and called him but he never answered. When we had an appointment with him, the first thing I did was follow up on the word of wisdom. The requirement for baptism in this mission is that they have to live the WOW for 3 weeks at minimum. He is within those three weeks. He told me that every morning he's still been drinking coffee with his milk at breakfast. I was so, so disappointed and sad when he told me that. He knows the word of wisdom, and Sister Osborn and I had made it very clear that he was within his 3 weeks. He wants to be baptized on the 26th because he wants to be baptized by the former bishop of the ward, who is moving permanently to Chile in 3.5 weeks. When we told him he couldn't get baptized on the 26th, he got really angry, as did his wife, and he said that if he didn't get baptized on the 26th, he wouldn't get baptized at all. They talked about how nobody is perfect and how there are lots of members who drink coffee. That's probably true. All we could do is testify of the importance of obedience and the restored gospel--that the word of wisdom is a commandment from God. The saddest part of this is not that [M] won't be getting baptized on the 26th, but that he's not repenting. He doesn't have a desire to leave behind the coffee in favor of the gospel. I actually cried during the lesson, which freaked me out, and Marlon kept saying "No llore, no llore" (don't cry, don't cry). The mission is hard! It's emotionally very difficult. But the gospel is true, and there's nothing I'd rather be doing than serving a mission!

Hilarous story of the week: Locking the keys in the car, aaaaand, a guy telling us to be careful in a certain neighborhood and to not go into a certain apartment complex. I looked to the apartment complex where he was pointing and it was [the apartment complex of the family who was baptized a few weeks ago] :) Hahahahha.

new transfer, new missionary! (Feb 6th)

2012-02-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

We went to the temple with the family [who were just baptized a few weeks ago]! The mom and the older daughter got their recommends to go and do baptisms for the dead last week, so on Thursday we got to accompany them to the temple. It was so amazing to be in the temple with them, all of us dressed in white. They got to do a lot of names--close to 20 people and they were so excited to be able to participate in this sacred work. Spanish-speaking temple workers came so they could participate in confirmations and baptisms in Spanish. How great! I was surprised at how much it meant to me to be able to have this experience completely in my mission language, which I have come to love, and with people that have come to mean the world to me. It was a heavenly experience and such a blessing, for me and for the Aviles. They are truly dedicated to this new life they've chosen and they understand the sanctity of doing work for the dead. It was a huge testimony builder for me to be able to have this experience. It makes me sad that I didn't go and do baptisms for the dead more often! Go to the temple! Everybody!!

So, like Derek explained, on Saturday we get transfer calls, and if you are to receive a special assignment, the mission president calls you and extends the call. Saturday afternoon we were innocently eating bunuelos (basically a deep-fried tortilla with cinnamon sugar.... tastes like a churro!) when President Wade's ringtone started going off. I picked up the phone and President Wade said, "Hello Sister Croft, I have a special assignment for you. You'll be training a new missionary. Isn't that exciting?" I was literally in shock, literally shaking. I told him it was exciting and that I'd gladly accept the assignment. I was completely surprised. Just that morning Sister Osborn had said as we finished companionship study, "Ok hermana, the 12 week program is over. You're officially trained!" And then hours later Pres. Wade told me I'd be starting the 12 week program over, but on the trainer's side. What?! And then Sister Osborn was called to be a Sister Trainer! The sister trainers are a companionship who are assigned to go on exchanges with every sister in the mission--Chinese, English, Tongan, Spanish, Tagalog--in every area of the mission. A huge responsibility and a huge challenge! She is so prepared for it and she's going to be great! I'm so sad to see her leave though. We've been crying all day because it's hard to see this companionship come to an end! I'd imagine this is a problem that only sister missionaries have (the continuous weeping)... but it's ok! We're both excited for what lies ahead. I'm extremely humbled by the new assignment I've been given, because it comes with a lot of responsibility. All I can do is trust that the Lord has given me this calling because He knows it's what this new sister and I both need, and because He knows we have specific work to do in Richmond together. Please pray for me, and for Hermana Osborn! And for my new companion, whomever she is! I'll meet her on Wednesday night.

This has definitely been a week of refinement for me in the lessons we've taught. We have several investigators who have accepted baptismal dates for the beginning of March, but who have major difficulties they need to overcome. I'm coming to better understand my role as a missionary over the course of this week. My role as a missionary is to invite others to come to Christ, which is not an easy thing for many people. They have to experience major changes in every aspect of their lives as they learn about and accept the gospel--changes that I can't imagine having to make. It's sometimes hard to stay in my role as a missionary, and not to step into the role of a therapist or a casual friend, especially considering the training I received in school. It's been humbling to have to rely on the Spirit to tell me what to do and what to say to best represent the Savior in the capacity in which I've been called to serve. I've noticed this week, however, that I'm "settling" more into my role as a missionary. I feel like a missionary. I'm even a missionary in all of my dreams at night, even if I'm not in California in my dreams! I'm coming to understand the sacred nature of my call, and to accept and love it. At first it was hard to admit to myself that I'd committed myself to living this life, which is so completely different from anything else I've ever done, or anything that I ever saw myself doing, but that perspective is changing and I can finally admit to myself that I love being a missionary. I love being set apart to represent the Savior and to love and serve the people here in this area.

Almost the end of January?! (Jan 30)

2012-02-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesting week. There was a point this week at which we had zero investigators. It's hard to literally have an empty teaching pool. Sister Osborn and I were pretty down on Thursday night because it felt like nobody in the world wanted to talk to us. More than that, it was sad because some of the people we dropped were people that I knew had felt the Spirit and really could have progressed in the gospel, but chose not to at this time.

I'll just talk about one of the investigators we dropped because it was an interesting experience for me. This man's name is Leonel. We'd been teaching him for about 3 weeks and he really is a special person. We'd invited him to be baptized several times, and he said he wanted to be baptized, but he couldn't accept a baptismal date because he wanted to be sure, and very prepared, before getting baptized. He seemed afraid of committing sins after baptism. He was so afraid that he couldn't accept baptism because he didn't feel like he was ready to be good enough to enter a covenant. This comes from a good man who loves his children and is an excellent father, and who was reading from the Book of Mormon and even taking notes on his reading. I think he knows the Book of Mormon is true, because he trusts it as a source of knowledge from God and understood the importance of baptism by reading the words of Christ. This pattern of discussion--of inviting him to be baptized, and of him telling us that he wants to but not making the necessary changes or accepting the baptismal invitation--had continued for several lessons, and we had to help him make a decision. We taught him on Tuesday night and invited him to pray, make a decision to either prepare for baptism or not meet with us anymore, and then talk to us the next day. I prayed so hard for him that night--that he would pray, and that he would choose to prepare for baptism. We called him the next day, and he told us that he had prayed, but that he didn't feel like he could make the decision to be baptized right now. It's always hard to drop investigators, but saying goodbye to Leonel over the phone was especially hard. It breaks my heart, because I think the thing that stopped him from accepting baptism is one of Satan's greatest lies--that we can't repent and that we aren't good enough to come unto Christ. Leonel will be baptized someday, I know it, but unfortunately we can't continue teaching him. Hopefully in the near future he'll be able to start meeting with missionaries again.
We've been working hard on finding people to teach, which can be frustrating, but the Lord is putting people in our path. It's been one of the most humbling weeks of my mission thus far, but I've learned so much about WHY it's important to share the gospel. This morning as I was reading a conference talk, "The Divine Gift of Repentance," this hit me hard in relation to my responsibility as a missionary to invite others to repent:

I gratefully acknowledge and testify that the incomprehensible suffering, death, and Resurrection of our Lord “bringeth to pass the condition of repentance” (Helaman 14:18). The divine gift of repentance is the key to happiness here and hereafter. In the Savior’s words and in deep humility and love, I invite all to “repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 4:17). I know that in accepting this invitation, you will find joy both now and forever.

As I read this talk this morning, I felt and understood the doctrine of repentance in a very different way than I ever have before. What a wonderful gift we have--repentance! What a wonderful thing, a thing that so often we're afraid of or don't use! That was the point of the Savior's sacrifice--to provide a means for us to be able to repent and return to live with our Heavenly Father.

Bursitis, recent converts, and the mission baby (Jan 23)

2012-01-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

So this was a great week. It's been raining like crazy! It's great fun. I am so grateful that we have a car, because the rain here is really strong sometimes. Apparently it's the start of the rainy season, so I might have to buy some boots. :)

Highlights of the week: exchanges, confirmations, and the mission baby!

First, exchanges! In my mission there are two sisters who are assigned to be sister trainers. They go on exchanges with all of the sisters in the mission to help them learn, kind of like Derek gets to go on exchanges with the people in his district. This week, I went on an exchange with Sister Wakefield, who is wonderful. My companion left and went to San Mateo to be with Sister Wakefield's companion, and Sister Wakefield came here to Richmond. That means that I got to be senior companion for a day. Scary! I really was scared at first, because it's definitely different to be the one that's in charge of the area for the day, but it ended up being one of the best experiences of my mission thus far. We started our exchange on Friday afternoon at the Visitor's Center, and then I had to drive (scarrryyyyyyy, haven't driven since October, and there was torrential rain and our car is ginormous compared to the Bug, AND we're in California) us back to Richmond. Thankfully, we made it there alive and I didn't get lost or crash the car. We were extremely blessed to have appointments all night long. Every single one of our appointments happened as planned, which is something that very rarely happens. I think the Lord knew that I would have a tough time handling driving around in the dark and rain working on our backup plan! We had a lot of excellent appointments, and I learned so much from Sister Wakefield.

On Saturday we had an appointment with a lady that we met on the street. We went in and sang "I am a Child of God," and when Sister Wakefield asked this lady about how she felt about the song, the lady told us that she doesn't believe everybody is a child of God, and that only people who study the Bible are children of God. It was astounding to feel the ABSENCE of the Spirit when she said that. We knew right off it was going to be a tough appointment. This lady was a nice person, but didn't want to learn about the Restoration. She wanted to "Bible Bash," as they say, and it was so hard to hear her rip apart the Book of Mormon, the Prophet Joseph Smith, and the nature of our Heavenly Father. Sister Wakefield and I tried our hardest to boldly testify without being mean or starting to fight with her. When we left the appointment, I felt exhausted. We had a member with us, a 16-year-old girl from the ward, and she said, "Wow, I'm not sure if I want to go on a mission anymore!" We had to reassure her that things like that very rarely happen, and that almost every appointment we have is spiritually edifying because there really are many people who want to learn and feel the Holy Ghost. It's true--that's really the only experience I've had like that. But I'm really glad that we had that appointment. Sister Wakefield and I talked about it afterward and she said that things like that are a chance to really draw closer to the Savior by following His example. He was blasphemed, spit upon, and abused in every way, but He exercised patience and restraint, and always focused on doing the will of His Father before He focused on defending Himself. It's the same thing with missionary work, and with any other instance in which persecutions come. The example of the Savior is always the example to follow, and the Holy Ghost will always tell us, if we listen, what to do.

Another thing I learned from exchanges--gratitude! I'm so grateful for Sister Osborn and everything she does to work hard as the senior companion. There's a lot to think about and do, and she does wonderfully every day. I didn't realize how much she does until I had to take the lead. I'm really blessed to have a great companion. I'm grateful for this exchange because I learned a lot about myself and I can see that I've grown and changed in a lot of ways, and that the Lord has really helped me be prepared to fulfill my calling.

On Sunday the [members of the family that was baptized] were confirmed! It's so great to see how much they've grown since we started teaching them just over a month ago. They're members of the Church! They have the gift of the Holy Ghost! What an incredible blessing. They're so solid and they have strong testimonies. On Sunday night the mission held a fireside called Porque Yo Creo (Why I Believe), which is an opportunity for recent converts to bear testimony. All three of our beautiful recent converts bore their testimonies. It was so amazing to hear each of them say, "Yo testifico que esta es la iglesia verdadera" (I testify that this is the true church). What an amazing thing.

Sister Wade, our mission president's wife, had her baby! We have a mission baby, a little boy. They haven't named him officially yet, but he's unofficially Elder Wade, jaja, and also Jacob David Wade, since he was their firstborn in the wilderness. :)

Other news, I can join the family of running injuries. BURSITIS, dun dun dunnnnnn. I did three days of hard runs in a row and I guess that's the price I pay for having bad form. It's so annoying! It's not too bad, but it's super annoying to go up and down stairs and whatever. Any tips, running addicts?

A Baptism Times 3

2012-01-22T18:41:00.000-08:00

January 16 letter

So, this was a good week! It was a very stressful week, but it ended with a baptism, which makes it completely worth it. Our cute little family got baptized! It was beautiful. There was a great turn out from the ward, and the chapel was filled at the baptism. We had a few moments of panic, like [the mother] didn't show up until exactly 5:00 (when the meeting was supposed to start) because they were delayed 30 minutes trying to get her elderly mother into the car, and when her brother, who was the one performing the baptisms, didn't show up until 5:10. It worked out great though and it was awesome. The little girl in the family, age 8, was so excited to get baptized that when she walked back to enter the font, she started jumping up and down and squealing. :D So CUTE! It was truly beautiful to see them enter into the covenant of baptism. Having grown up as a member of the church, I don't think I fully realized the sacredness of baptism, but I'm starting to learn more about how our Heavenly Father feels about those who enter into that covenant. It's the beginning of a life dedicated to following the example of Jesus Christ, and it was so amazing to see the [family] dressed in white, ready to start on their path toward returning to live with their Heavenly Father.

It's amazing to me how much you can love people that you've barely met. Like Derek said, it's usually hard for me to let people get close to me, or to let myself get close to them. I'm a "slow mover" when it comes to relationships, but I really feel like the Lord has been merciful with me in letting me feel love for the people here in my mission. We started teaching the [family] just a little over a month ago, but I feel like I've known them my whole life, and when they got baptized, I thought my heart might explode because I felt so much love for them. And even as I type this I'm astounded at how much I feel for them, and how happy I am that they've chosen to make covenants with their Heavenly Father. It blows my mind to think how happy He is for them, and how much love He has--perfect love--for this little family, and for all of us. I think that's the part of my testimony that has grown the most since being called as a missionary--that God really is our loving Heavenly Father. In Preach My Gospel, "God is our loving Heavenly Father" is the first heading of the first lesson, and I can see why. If we understand that God loves us and is literally our Father, then the gospel means so much more. The doctrine of Christ--faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end--means so much more, as does the Atonement, and the Plan of Salvation, and each of the commandments we've been given.

Like Derek's companionship, our companionship is now back to the finding stage. As the [family] progressed, most of our other investigators stopped progressing. Finding is very tough, and sometimes we feel like we've exhausted all of our resources. We were on a sort of missionary high with the [family,] and now we're getting back to the "dirty work" of being a missionary. Like Derek said, sometimes it's hard to talk to everybody, but that's the way the Lord has told us to do the work, so that's what we have to do. It's frustrating and sad to see people choose to say no to the gospel, especially after they've felt the Spirit and know that it's a good thing, but all we can do is invite and invite and invite. Sometimes we have days when we have 3 solid hours of tracting in our schedule, the thought of which almost makes me want to throw in the towel, but I've realized in the past week that a lot of it has to do with attitude, humility, and faith. When I look at tracting and other forms of finding as an opportunity to tell people about the love that their Savior has for them, rather than as a 3 hour block of cold hands and awkward conversations, it's a lot easier to see the miracles that happen when we put forth an honest effort to do the work the way the Lord has asked us to do it.
...

In other news, I finished the Book of Mormon again this week, and--like always--my testimony of this book has grown ten fold. I am kicking myself for all of the nights before my mission when I decided I was too tired to read my scriptures, or that I had too much homework or whatever. That's one habit I am promising I will keep-- to read and study the Book of Mormon daily!

Stake Conference, New Investigators

2012-01-10T21:24:00.000-08:00

This week was truly one of the best weeks here. We were blessed with many, many miracles and were able to start teaching a lot of new people. I also realized how blessed I am to be in this ward. The ward here is truly amazing and I feel blessed to be able to get to know them and to see how great they are at doing missionary work.

This week was a little different because we had stake conference. Stake Conference here is different from how it is at home. At home, we can walk to the stake center in just as much time as it takes to get to the chapel. Here, we had to drive 40 minutes to a different city to get to the stake center. Thankfully, we were able to find rides for [the family we're teaching]. The mom and the uncle actually came to the adult session on Saturday night! Amazing. A lot of lifetime members--here and in Utah--don't even do that! The conference was great and we were so happy our investigators came. For the Sunday session, we had FOUR investigators at stake conference. Such a huge blessing. We had the 3 members of the [family], and then a new investigator.... We met her in the street last week and she told us she wants to start going to a church. I was worried what she would think about sitting through two solid hours of talks because she's 19 and used to go to Christian churches with rock bands and stuff, but I really had no reason to worry. I talked to her after and she said, "I really liked it! I think I'll come next week! I like how it's really peaceful and I liked the talks." She's awesome. We taught her later Sunday night and she said (paraphrased), "Yeah, I'm excited to start going to your church. I know I'll have to make a lot of changes but I'm excited. And I know I have to read the Book of Mormon and study a lot so I can decide to be baptized." We invited her to be baptized, and she accepted, but didn't accept a date. We're really happy to be teaching her because she truly is prepared.

We had another investigator accept a baptismal date during our first lesson with us. It was kind of a weird experience for us. We'd been trying to meet with this lady... for weeks. We received her name as a referral and tried for a long time to contact her, but without any luck. On Thursday we went and knocked on her door, just expecting to set up an appointment to come back another day, and she opened it and let us in! Crazy. That never happens! She took us into her living room, sat us down, fed us cucumbers with salt (much to the chagrin of Hermana Osborn, who is not a fan of this delicious green vegetable), and we taught the first lesson to her. The Spirit was definitely there. She told us, "Si, creo que todo eso es verdad." "Yes, I believe all of that is true." We invited her to be baptized at the end of this month and she accepted. We told her about the word of wisdom and she committed to stop drinking coffee. We walked out of the appointment a little bit in shock that everything had happened so quickly! Unfortunately, as has happened with several of our past investigators who have accepted baptismal dates, we haven't been able to have contact with her since that night. We're worried, but we also know that it's going to be up to her to make the choice to prepare for baptism, and all we can do is continuously invite her. Our mission president said in stake conference, quoting Preach My Gospel, that our success is measured by whether or not we invite people to receive the restored gospel. It's true! We experience a lot of disappointment every day when people choose not to accept the gospel, but we see through the miracles we experience daily that the Lord is aware of our efforts to be obedient and to always invite people to accept the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The [family we're teaching] is doing great. We went over the baptismal interview questions with them and they are incredibly prepared to be baptized this Sunday! I feel so blessed to know them. They are amazing. They already have desires to share the gospel with people, and they haven't even been baptized yet! The mom of the family said, "The people out there don't have what we have! We need to be examples for them!" That's really a sign of true conversion--to recognize the blessings of the gospel, and then to have a desire to live in such a way that others can recognize those blessings. They will be interviewed for baptism tomorrow night, and next week I'll be writing all about how their baptism went!

Other comments from this week: I feel so weird around white people! I was shocked at how strange I felt when I walked into the stake center and was surrounded by people speaking English. I didn't realize how immersed I've been in Latino culture until I felt immediately awkward around white people. An odd phenomenon.

People Prepared, Finding Experiences, New Years Eve

2012-01-10T21:21:00.000-08:00

January 2nd Letter

First off, we went to the Visitor's Center with our little family on Thursday. I love [that] family! They are so incredibly prepared. It amazes me. At the Visitor's Center, we had them watch the Christus presentation, then a display called God's Plan for His Family. It basically follows a family through the course of the growing up years of their oldest daughter. Hey, that's me! I won't lie, I cried through the whole thing, because I'm just so happy that I'm part of a family that will be together for eternity. AND because [they are] taking the steps to work toward that goal too! There's nothing better than seeing people come to realize that God does have a plan for them. [The mother] said, "Everything is so clear to me" at the end of the presentation. She has amazing faith and an amazing ability to be taught by the Spirit. She's even really excited about doing genealogy so her ancestors can be baptized too!

This week has also been a week of miracles in finding. We have very few people we're teaching right now, but over the weekend we contacted TONS of people. We have a gigantic pool of potential investigators, and 5 appointments tonight alone! We've been very blessed. We had a miracle with [another] guy.... We knocked on his door trying to find a cousin of a sister who lives in our ward who said she might be interested in hearing the gospel. We knocked looking for a Hispanic woman..., but the person who answered the door was a tall black man.... We started teaching him anyway, even though we had the wrong house, and we asked him what it would mean to him to know that there is a prophet on the earth today. He said, "Who is he and how can I meet him?" He said that he had asked God a question and he knew that God sent us to knock on his door. Wow! We won't be the ones who teach him, since he speaks English, but hopefully his heart will be open to listening to the Elders.

We also had a neat finding experience with our next door neighbor. She called us on Friday night and asked if our church does special prayers or blessings for people in need. Someone close to her took advantage of her and betrayed her, and she felt desperate for help. We had the senior missionaries come over so she could receive a priesthood blessing. We talked to her about the atonement and the gospel of Jesus Christ, and the way we can become clean from sins and healed from our injuries through faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. She said, "I really need that in my life." She said she felt better after receiving a blessing, and she allowed us to give her information to the English Elders. It was really a neat experience to see someone exercise such faith and humility, and to turn to God for relief.

On Saturday we had our New Year's Eve zone party. WE GOT TO WEAR JEANS! Wow, what an experience. And even better, I got to wear my SPERRYS! :D I've missed them. We also watched Cars 2 (so funny!) and Kung Fu Panda 2. And we ate lots of candy. It was fun! It's weird though, to see how not dressing in proselyting clothes changes your demeanor and attitude. I'm glad we wear proselyting clothes all the time! It's easier to feel like a representative of Jesus Christ when you're "dressed up," just like on Sundays it's easier to be reverent when you stay in your Sunday clothes after church.

Sunday was one of the best days here in the mission. Sunday morning, there was another hour-long panic session when the people who were going to give rides to the ... family either didn't pick up their phones or got lost on their way to their house. We were praying so hard that things would work out, because it's so so SO important that they attend church! Finally, at the last minute, I decided to try calling their ride one more time. I woke her up--turns out her alarm didn't go off and she didn't hear her phone the other times we called her. But thankfully, she was able to come and pick them up, and we made it to church just after the opening prayer. I felt such relief as the Sacrament started and our investigators were there to hear the prayers and see the sacrament be passed to the congregation. We were definitely blessed to have them be able to be at church on Sunday. During Sunday School, [the sister] made the best comment about repentance I've ever heard. She basically taught the doctrine of repentance in just a few sentences--that Christ suffered for our sins and he can cleanse us from sin, but that we still have the responsibility to ask for forgiveness and abandon our sins, and not make the same mistakes over and over again. So great! She's amazing.

On Sunday night we had the blessing of being able to ride with one of the Elders' investigators to her baptism. ... she's from Honduras. We got to ride with her and her family to Oakland, where she was baptized in the building right next to the temple. It was such a blessing to be there and to see her make that important step. I was impressed by the simplicity of the ordinance of baptism. It's so simple and only lasts a few seconds, but the Spirit testifies so powerfully when one of God's children takes that all-important step of entering the waters of baptism and making a covenant with Heavenly Father. It was humbling to watch Elder Pettit, our district leader, bow his head and say the words of the baptismal prayer in Spanish, and then to see everyone's smiles as [she] came up out of the water. The Spirit was very powerful. While [she] was changing her clothes, Hermana Osborn and I had the chance to teach the people who came to the baptism the Doctrine of Christ and the Restoration. As we were finishing, [she] came out of the dressing room, raised her hands in the air, and said, "Thank you for coming. I'M HAPPY!" So great, so great. :D And even better--the [family we're teaching] was there to see the baptism and feel the Spirit that was there, and that will be there at their baptism on January 15th! Just two weeks away! I'm so excited for them!

Two Months Out, Expectations for Investigators, Exchanges (Dec 26)

2012-01-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

It was a good week. We're still struggling because our teaching pool is pretty small right now, but we see miracles every day with the people we are able to teach. Especially with the ... family! They're so SO great. Yesterday we had a stressful situation that had to do with them, but it was resolved just fine. They don't have a car, so we have to arrange for rides for them to get to church on Sundays. The ward members are all really willing to help, so we had rides set up for them early in the week. Problem though, on Sunday morning, we called to confirm with their rides, and found out that the member who was going to take them to church wasn't coming to church that day. Big problem. We ran up to the chapel and found someone to go and pick them up, but he got lost and came back to the chapel without them. We felt awful, because by this time the meeting was half over, and there was no point in dragging someone else out of sacrament meeting to go and get our investigators. We were really frustrated and felt guilty because we weren't able to get our investigator to church, and especially on Christmas, when they were actually planning on coming to sacrament meeting! Derek can attest to this--getting investigators to church is one of the hardest things, and one of the most important things. Anyway, they couldn't get to church, but we went to their house afterward and apologized, and everything was resolved. We were afraid that they'd get offended or something and not want to talk to us anymore, which is silly, because they're very nice people, but everything worked out well and we had a great lesson with them.

"Another cool thing from this week--we just started teaching [another young man] ... We went by his house, half expecting him not to be there, because second to church attendance, keeping appointments is our biggest struggle. People tend to just not be home for the appointments they set with us. But when we showed up at Omar's house, he was there! And he had read the things we asked him to read! He had great questions about the plan of salvation and about the importance of baptism. It was a really great lesson. It was a reminder to me that I do need to have more faith in the Spirit's ability to touch the hearts of our investigators. Sometimes it's easy to be negative and expect them to not keep appointments, or to not have read from the scriptures, or to not show up at church, but that's something I need to repent of. The gospel does have the power to influence peoples' lives and actions, and I should be more positive in my expectations of our investigators.

"This week we also had exchanges. I don't know if all missions do this, but in our mission there is one companionship of sisters that is assigned to train other sister missionaries. Not all missions have sister missionaries go on companion exchanges, but our mission does. This Wednesday I got to go to another area to be trained by Hermana Luker. She's really great! It was weird to switch companions for a day, but it was good. I missed Sister Osborn and our area, but I learned a lot from Sister Luker. We focused on the importance of asking inspired questions when teaching and meeting people. You think I'd be better at asking good questions, since that's a big part of what I studied in some of my last classes at BYU, but asking inspired questions is one of the things I struggle with on the mission. I learned a lot from Hermana Luker though, and I'm on my way to improving that skill.

"Wow, I'm not sure what else to say! I made it through my first transfer, and when the new missionaries come on Wednesday, I'll no longer be one of the baby missionaries! Haha, that will feel good :D I'm so glad I was out here for this transfer, and not in the MTC, because I feel like I've grown in a lot of important ways through being thrown into something I didn't feel prepared for. I was already getting comfortable in the MTC by Week 1, so I know I definitely needed to come here early so the Lord could help me push myself. This transfer has been a blessing :)

Study, Service project, Interviews, Ants in the Iron (Dec 19)

2012-01-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

From Jessica's December 19 letter:

"This week was a little different. We spent a lot of our mornings doing a big service project, so we didn't get our normal study time. I've missed it! It's so great to be able to sit down and study the scriptures for a solid 3 hours every morning. That may sound sarcastic, but it's not! My love of the scriptures is growing daily, especially as I see how they apply to the lives and problems of every person we encounter. Anyway, our service project this week was a project done through Richmond Child and Family Services. Every year they collect donated toys for families who have little or no income, so their kids can have gifts for Christmas. We got papers describing the childrens' ages and clothing sizes, and then we got to "shop" among the donated gifts to pick out a Christmas package for them. It was really fun, and I got my shopping fix for the year, and I didn't even spend money! We did that project for 3 days in a row--Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday--as a zone.

"On Friday we had interviews with President Wade. Everyone gets nervous about interviews with the President, because it is kind of intimidating, but I always enjoy talking to him. He looked at my scriptures and my planner because, as he says, you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their scriptures and their planner. My Spanish scriptures are still fairly new, so there's not much of a story there, but it was good to have a reminder to use the scriptures as often as possible. :)

"Investigators who get the highlight of the week: [A family with a mom and her kids]! They're so wonderful. We found the uncle of this family my first week here. We were in the library writing letters to our mission president. We were a day late writing our letters because we had new missionary training in Oakland the day before. But I know that we truly were supposed to be there on that day, because he came up to us and said, "I'm a brother, I'm a brother!" He was baptized about a year ago and is now part of our ward. The other day we were thinking about him and we decided to go visit him. He's living with his sister, who just had a baby boy, and her two daughters. The mother and the two daughters are so prepared, and we're so grateful that we found them when we went to visit their uncle. The daughters are 12 and 8. They came to our ward Christmas party, and it was wonderful to see the ward attend to them with so much friendliness and kindness. Actually, the newborn baby boy (just 16 days old! He was born on December 1st :D ) got to play baby Jesus in the nativity presentation! He was perfect--no crying or wiggling at all. That was a blessing because it helped his mom feel welcome in the ward. They all came to church on Sunday, and they loved it. We also had a lesson with them on Sunday night, and it went really well. The mom understands the apostasy really well, which is something that is really rare. Their hearts are prepared, and they have a real desire to know the truth and to act in faith. We did invite them to be baptized, and they said they will prepare to be baptized, but they didn't accept a baptismal date. We're very excited for them! The Lord really has prepared a lot of people to receive the gospel!

"Another story... We had a lesson with [a brother] last week, and it was amazing. We taught the message of the restoration, and at the end of the lesson, he opened his heart up and told us about some very difficult struggles his family has been through. It was another testimony to me that the Spirit's influence is powerful in helping people open their hearts to the truth. People have shared so many things with me, and I feel blessed to hear their stories and be trusted with the difficult things that are happening in their lives. It's a blessing to be able to see that people do have a willingness to change, and that their honesty and openness with us is a sign that the Spirit is working in them. The fact that they trust us so much--a couple of random gringas that knocked on their door--really tells me that it's the Spirit that influences people to recognize us as representatives of Jesus Christ. It's amazing. It's so easy to love these people. I know that's a gift of the Spirit too--something that I've talked about before. It's astounding to be able to feel so close to people so quickly, and I know that comes from the sacred calling we've been given to represent the Savior and help them feel the love that their Heavenly Father has for them.

Funny story of the week--we found ants in our iron! In our IRON! Crazy. In the Christmas package I sent (I hope you got it!) there's an envelope on top with pictures. Don't open anything but the envelope! The stuff in the box isn't wrapped! P.S., I got the Christmas package you sent me, Mom, and I'm so excited! We have it all set out under our Charlie Brown Christmas tree. :)

Zone Conference, Christmas Party, Agency, (Dec 12)

2012-01-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

From Jessica's December 12 letter home:

This was a crazy week! Well, I'm seeing that every week is a crazy week. This week was a little different because we had zone conference. I'm amazed at how much work and love goes into things like this. President and Sister Wade prepared an amazing training session on how to extend invitations in the Lord's way. Missionary work is all about extending invitations. Extending an invitation gives someone the power to exercise their agency to follow the example of Jesus Christ. If there's one thing that's been both super frustrating and super amazing, it's been learning the power of agency. It's very painful to watch people choose to NOT do what they know is right, especially when they've felt the Spirit and they know that the gospel can bring them happiness. It's so, so sad, especially when you care about them and you want them to choose the things that will make them happy. On the other hand, there's nothing more exciting than seeing someone keep their commitments and use their agency to choose the right and follow Jesus Christ!

As another part of zone conference, we had a Christmas party of sorts. The members of the ward that occupies the chapel in which we held the meeting prepared a really great lunch for us. I'm constantly amazed at the generosity of members. It's eally a blessing to see their examples, and it's humbling to be the recipient of heir generosity.

After lunch, we played a gigantic version of the gift-stealing game (the one where you take a number and you can steal peoples' gifts, etc.). Haha, President Wade old us to set aside our Christlike attributes for 2 hours while we played, and like obedient missionaries, we did exactly what he told us to. :) The gifts were all packages of missionary essentials--canned food, boxed food (including Ramen), oothpaste and razors and Windex and laundry soap--with some extra surprises thrown n. The big gift of the day was a snowcone machine. That one got stolen several imes. :) We almost ended up with it, but an elder stole it from Hermana Osborn, haha. I couldn't believe how much WORK went into preparing the gifts for us. There were about 70 missionaries there and all of us walked out with extra food and apartment supplies.

After zone conference, we had one of those time-wasting experiences like Derek talked about. We were supposed to go to the Visitor's Center with THREE investigators, but one by one they all canceled, so we got stuck on the freeway for almost an hour and didn't end up having any appointments. It was awful! We wasted lot of time and I felt terrible, just like Derek said. But thankfully when we got back, we had a lesson with a less-active recent convert.... We've been trying so, SO hard to help him come to church. I was pretty direct with him in his lesson, more direct than my personality usually is. I straight up called him to repentance and told him that the responsibility for being worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost is his. I was suprised at how direct I was, but because I know that's not a part of my personality, and because the Spirit was present during that lesson, I know that the boldness of my invitation to come back to church came through the Spirit. In the meantime, [he] is in our prayers (he didn't come to church), and hopefully he'll find the motivation to make the choice to come to church.

Other news, we had to drop [the] stellar couple we were teaching. They were actually the people we taught during my first appointment. It's heartbreaking to have to drop people, but they aren't progressing anymore. We've been going crazy trying to get in contact with them and set appointments, but to no avail. Hopefully
they'll come around later and be able to make the choice to continue progressing toward baptism.

Our main investigator right now is ... an older gentleman who speaks so quickly my brain sometimes shuts down when I'm listening to him. I think I've talked about him before. He loves the scriptures, and he reads intently. I'm learning a lot from
the way he reads. He'll read out loud, and go over a verse 2 or 3 times to get the meaning of every word. He really studies as he reads, and I know that will be a blessing in helping him receive a testimony of the Book of Mormon. I have a lot of anxiety about Rafael, not because he's not progressing, but because I care so much
about him and he has so much potential. We're teaching him tonight, so hopefully all goes well!

Funny stories of the week: I ate a waffle with chopsticks yesterday. It was pretty fun. And there was practically a war in Relief Society over whether we should have ham or turkey at the Christmas party. Also, a guy that we ran into about 2 days ago on the street (and with whom we spoke English) answered the door when we were tracting yesterday. And he told us he doesn't speak English. So we taught him in Spanish on his doorstep, and then he said, "Lo siento, pero estoy mirando el futbol. No puedo hablar ahorita." Translation: "Sorry, but I'm watching soccer. I can't talk right now." As great an excuse as any I've heard :)

Focusing on Jesus Christ in lessons

2011-12-06T20:02:00.000-08:00

From Jessica's December 5 letter.

"This week was Cuh-RAZY. Crazy. People were definitely not lying when they said that the mission is a roller coaster--not just week by week, or even day by day, but hour by hour! I think that's why the days seem so long--there's just so much emotion packed into every single day!

"This week we've really been trying to focus on the importance of Jesus Christ in our lessons. We realized that as we teach, we aren't connecting things back to the reason why we have the gospel, the reason why the Plan of Salvation is possible, and the person in whom we place our faith and in whose name we are baptized--Jesus Christ. I've noticed that as we testify more of Jesus Christ in every lesson, whether it's on the restoration of the gospel or on the word of wisdom, that the Spirit is more present. It's a testimony to me that this work really is His work, and that the gospel of Jesus Christ really is the only way we can receive salvation and a fulness of joy.

"Updates on our investigators: V, one of our investigators who had a baptismal date, [was scheduled to have a] short interview with our mission president on Sunday. Problem though, when we went to wake him up for church, he didn't answer his door! And he has no cell phone, and no car, so we were panicking about getting him to church, both because it's important that he attends church in order to increase his testimony and keep the commandments, and because our mission president was going to drive all the way from Oakland to meet our investigator at the chapel. Eventually we had to leave without him. Sis Osborn and I were freaking out all through sacrament meeting and Relief Society. Finally, we got permission from our district leader to leave church early to go and get V for his interview. We were praying really hard that he would be at home. And when we pulled up to his apartment, there he was, just chilling on his balcony! It took all that was in me not to yell, "Where WERE you???" Haha, apparently he was asleep until about noon. At any rate, we got him a ride to church and he had his interview. It was a miracle that we found him, because it's pretty much impossible to track him down because he has no phone. He had his interview, and President Wade said that he's progressing well toward baptism. He doesn't have a baptismal date right now, but things are looking good for him.

"...We finally got to meet with [two others who have baptismal dates], and we went through the questions of the baptismal interview. They are so prepared! The only thing is that [the brother] is a pretty persistent coffee drinker, like 3-4 cups a day. We talked about the word of wisdom, and he committed to reduce his coffee intake to 1 cup a day this week. That is for sure a big sign of faith--first, even wanting to give up coffee, and second, trusting that the Lord will make it possible to break such a strong habit. Also, we followed up on their Book of Mormon reading and asked [him]what he'd learned from 2 Ne 32. He said, "Well, basically, it talks about how baptism is the gate. And then after baptism, you have to keep going until the end and keep the commandments for the rest of your life. And then you can have eternal life." Sister Osborn and I had to pick our jaws up off the ground after hearing such a stellar explanation of the basic doctrines of the gospel. It's so great to see how the Spirit works in people to bring them to an understanding of truth.

"New investigators: [Another sister] also accepted a baptismal invitation in the first lesson! Somehow I'm always a little shocked when that happens, because even though it's a wonderful thing, it's not all that common. [She] is a very, VERY beautiful young mom who has two daughters. We talked about the blessings of the gospel in families, and she was very receptive to the message of how Jesus Christ can help us improve our families. Sad story though--we haven't been able to talk to her since the lesson when she accepted a baptismal date. :(((( Sad face, big time. It's so sad when people all of a sudden stop responding to calls, start missing appointments, etc. But, like what happened with [sister] last week, all we can do is put forth our best effort to keep trying as many times as is useful, and then we have to trust the Lord that He'll allow the Spirit to continue to work in them even if we have to stop trying to reach them.

"We also started teaching a lady.... She has more Christmas decorations in her house than ANYBODY I have ever seen. It's like a Christmas explosion in there. Twice. We went into her house and sat among the Christmas villages and nativity sets, and it felt like our house's decorations, but on Hispanic steroids. We taught her the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and she opened up to us, and shared her testimony of prayer. She said the story of Joseph Smith's experience with prayer is "beautiful." She said she's excited to learn more and share with her daughter. Awesome. We're praying really hard that she'll be able to progress in the gospel, because her heart is definitely prepared.

"Definitely a good week. It was also tough because we had zero investigators at church, and many, many dropped appointments, but we know that with faith and hard work, miracles are going to happen in this area.

"Hilarious story for the week: we knocked on the door of a person whose name we got from the English-speaking elders. It was for a 15-year-old girl named Elizabeth. She speaks English and Spanish, but her parents only speak Spanish. She answered the door and we explained, in English, who we were. She said, "just a second" and went into the house and started yelling for her mom in Spanish. In Spanish, she said, "there are missionaries here!" Her mom said, in Spanish, "Say something to them!" Daughter, in Spanish: "Should I tell them we're busy and we have stuff to do?" Mom: "Si!" Girl turns back to us and says in English, "sorry, I cant' talk right now, we're about to leave and do something with our family." We then asked her, in Spanish, if we could set an appointment to come back and see her sometime later. Baha, the look on her face when she figured out we speak Spanish and we understood her entire conversation with her mom... priceless :) "

Thanksgiving week, one month mark

2011-12-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

From Jessica's Nov 28th letter.

"Mkay, so this week was definitely a rollercoaster week. On Monday night, we had what felt like unreal success. When I wrote you on Monday morning, we had one investigator with a baptismal date. When I went to bed on Monday night, we had FIVE investigators with baptismal dates. Insane! Inviting people to be baptized is a really special thing. I've never really had experiences quite like it. It's amazing to feel the Spirit of the Lord backing your words up when you invite someone to follow the example of Jesus Christ by being baptized by someone who holds the priesthood authority of God. We had four investigators accept baptismal dates in one night. And on P-day!

"One of them was a lady who we were teaching for the first time.... She very readily accepted baptism, even when we told her about the word of wisdom. She said, "I drink coffee, but I'll just have to start drinking hot chocolate instead." Haha :D Unfortunately, yesterday morning, when we called this lady to see if she was coming to church, she "dropped" us. It was super super super sad. She was prepared, but she said that she can't talk to us anymore because she can't hurt her family by changing religions. Hopefully we will get to talk to her again and address some of those concerns, but for now she's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want to talk with us anymore. Muy triste, but hopefully there's a seed that's been planted there.

"The other three that accepted baptismal dates are a family--[a mother](20) and her husband..., and [the mother's] little brother, (14). They've been invited to be baptized before, but on Monday night they accepted. They're hopefully on track to be baptized on January 1st. We're nervous because they've all of a sudden been a lot less receptive to our efforts to teach them, so we're praying really hard that they'll want to keep moving forward. I'm noticing that Satan works really hard on people who are preparing to be baptized. So I'll keep you posted on them :)

"Tuesday was a great day as well. We got to go to the temple! The Oakland temple is definitely very unique. It's very Polynesian in design. It has teeny tiny cramped staircases, but the ordinance rooms are ENORMOUS. Someone called it a megaplex, and that's a fitting description. It was really nice to go to the temple. I'm really lucky to have arrived here in time for temple week. After the temple we went to the mission office for more new missionary training. We focused on the importance of the doctrine of Christ. My mission president is really a man of God. He's not afraid to tell us where we need to improve in order to be more effective missionaries.

"On Wednesday we had a crazy day. We had a district meeting, which took up most of the beginning of the afternoon, and then Sister Osborn and I had to run to the library to write letters to President Wade. We were stressing out because we were supposed to write them on Tuesday but because of the temple and training we didn't have time. But it worked out great, because at the library, this man came up to us and said, "I'm a brother! I'm a brother!" Turns out he's a member of the church and has been attending different wards in the area because he couldn't find out where the Spanish branch in this area meets. But GUESS WHAT, he totally lives in our area! ... he was baptized about a year and a half ago. We gave him the details for our ward's meeting times and he came on Sunday! It wasn't by chance that we were there on Wednesday writing letters at the same time he was there. I can tell already that he's going to be an asset to the ward. The ward here struggles sometimes because there are not very many men who are active members, and the majority of the ward is made up of very recently baptized members.

"Thursday--Thanksgiving! Oh mannnnnn. What a day. We had three Thanksgiving dinners. Whew! Our first dinner was with the senior missionary couple in our ward. It was straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting--very traditional American turkey-n-stuffing type dinner. Our second dinner was with the Betances family in our ward, and it was "mixed"--mashed potatoes and such with Mexican side dishes and desserts. And then our last dinner--which I wish I could have enjoyed more--was straight up MEXICAN. Loved it! We had this really neat garbanzo bean soup, and tostadas, and beans, and this mango smoothie thing that rocked my world. Unfortunately, by this time, I was literally about to cry because I was so full. And one of the elders that was eating with us WAS crying because he was so full (and because he put too much chili in his soup, haha). The ward members here are fantastic and they take very, very good care of us missionaries. The one thing I missed out on here was pie though. It sounds like you all had a pie party! I was thinking about pie when I was eating Mexican fruit salad. :)

"Other stories from this week--Sister Osborn and I get hit on all the time, it seems. This week a drunk man kept asking us for our phone number. It was pretty funny. We gave him the number for the Oakland Temple Visitor's Center instead. :) Then we had a drunk guy try and get into a Bible battle with us about the words of Paul that say women shouldn't speak in church. A classic. And for the first time, someone literally slammed their door at us! It was kind of cool--like a rite of passage. People here are actually very, very nice, and they're almost never rude when we knock on their door.

"This week it's been really hard to find people to teach, and we feel bad because we feel like we're wasting time when our appointments cancel on us. But like Derek said, you just have to embrace it, give thanks for the opportunity to follow the Spirit and try something new, and then be sensitive enough to the Spirit to know where you're supposed to be when everyone cancels on you. It's a good lesson for me to learn--humility, and reliance on the direction of the Spirit.

"Big miracle this Sunday--we had a brand new investigator unexpectedly show up at church on Sunday. We were discouraged because that morning nobody came to church except our faithful [investigator]. Then, about 30 minutes into sacrament meeting, [a siter] and her two sons showed up for church! It was great! Rachel, you would love this womaan's youngest son. He's 4, his name is Eric, and he is the CUTEST child on the planet! He loved Primary, which is great, because we can tell that the focus on families in the gospel will be key for this brand new investigator and her kids. Such a miracle that she came to church!

"Other highlights of the week--Every day. EVERY. DAY. people think I'm Hispanic. And these are all Hispanic people! Their jaws literally drop when I tell them I'm half Taiwanese! It's really hilarious. Sis. Osborn says it's a blessing though, because people will be more willing to talk to me :D Um, also, our apartment has hormigas (ANTS). We've been battling them this week though, so I think we're good to go. Our house smelled like Raid for a while, but I think it's under control now"

"...I'm unfortunately out of time already. Man, this hour on the computer is the fastest hour of the week! I love you all!"

First week in the field!

2011-11-21T19:57:00.000-08:00

We got a surprise today. Jessica's P-Day is Monday, not Wednesday. Here is some of what she had to say about her first week.

"So, this week has been crazy, of course. So right after we got off the plane ... we stepped into the airport and were greeted by a group of missionaries who are going home from the Oakland mission. It was such a blessing to have 3 sister missionaries (veterans) there to greet us as we got off the plane. We were all shaking in our boots as we walked off the plane, so it was great to have them there to show their enthusiasm and happiness for us newbies. Our mission president picked us up from the airport (all 14 of us) and took us to the mission home, which is just across the street from the Oakland Temple. My mission president and his wife are super young, and Sister Wade is actually expecting a baby in January. They also have a 16-year-old son, a 13-year-old daughter, and a 6-year-old daughter. Their kids are great. We went to the mission home and dropped off our bags, then took care of paperwork, and then went out to eat at a Chinese buffet. It felt like home :)

After lunch we went back to the mission home and met the mission office staff, took care of more paperwork, etc. Then we went to the Visitor's Center and listened to the Christus presentation. President Wade gave us a chance to pick a piece of the presentation that would be our "mission statement" for our time here. After the Christus, we went and walked on the terrace of the Oakland temple. You can actually go up onto the top of the temple and walk around the gardens there. It was beautiful. It was actually a clear day, so as the sun was setting you could see all the way across the bay to San Francisco. President Wade shared some thoughts about how he knows we're all in the right place, and that the Lord has called us to this mission for a specific reason. It was really great, and I hope I never forget that chat we had up on the top of the temple. After that we went back to the mission home and had dinner, and met our companions!

My companion is Sister Osborn. She's been in California for about 4 months, and she's been in this area (Richmond) for her whole mission, so she knows it really well. She's just amazing. She's probably one of the nicest people I've ever met, and she's very patient with me as I learn the ropes of being a missionary in the field. Our area is in the north end of the mission, and several missionaries called it the "promised land" of the Oakland area. We do have a car (2010 Ford Fusion!) and our apartment is actually pretty nice. Washer, dryer, dishwasher, giant bedroom, decent kitchen. Not bad!

Thursday we started working immediately. We have a gym in our apartment complex (HALLELUJIAH!!) so we go there every morning at 6:30 to exercise. Yep, late start for a Croft at a gym! :D After we come back and get ready, we have an hour of personal study, 2 hours of companionship study, 1 hour of language study, and then lunch. And THEN we go out and start doing other missionary stuff.

My first morning in CA, we had a miracle! We were walking to visit a 21-year-old investigator who lives in our complex. He has a baptismal date. We were going to go down a flight of stairs, but it was closed, so we had to go around. While walking the round-about-way, we ran into the investigator's dad. His dad told us that our investigator (we'll call him V) was actually in jail. Oooops. We were so glad we ran into him because Sister Osborn didn't know what had happened to V, and she and her companion hadn't had contact with him for a long time. So it was a huge blessing that we were able to figure out his situation and plan ways to help him out. Good news, V is out of jail now (he was there for an offense that happened a long while ago and caught up with him last week), and yesterday he came to church with us and went to the temple visitor's center with us. We had a talk there and he expressed a very, very sincere desire to make changes in his life and keep preparing to be baptized. We watched Finding Faith in Christ with him and he said, "I just feel so good, so relaxed. Jesus didn't use a lot of words, but He said a lot." And as we left the visitor's center, he said, "please give me homework. I want to keep reading [the Book of Mormon] because I just feel so happy right now." This kid is amazing.

And this morning, his dad called us and said he talked to V last night and was amazed at how happy V was, and how willing he was to change. So now V's dad and sister are going to start taking lessons with us too! So amazing. SO AMAZING. I'm just astounded at how people are so prepared to make changes in their lives, and at how willing they are to draw closer to God.

So, I'm getting sidetracked. Richmond is kind of sketchy, not gonna lie, but I've actually never felt scared while tracting. We don't tract at night, of course, so that may be part of it, but we do knock doors in some pretty run-down neighborhoods. I'm normally kind of a quiet person, but for some reason it's not hard at all for me to start talking to someone on their doorstep. Sister Osborn is thankfully a great example of talking to EVERYONE, and the Spirit helps me to not feel the intimidation or worry of talking to people. Aaaaand, I think my job at Vivint, where I was yelled at daily by random strangers, helped me thicken my skin toward rejection. Plus, people here are actually very very nice, even if they don't want to talk to us.

Other stuff... (sorry, this is not organized at all) We're also teaching a family--a daughter (we'll call her Susie) and her husband, and her mom and brother. They seem really eager to learn about the gospel as a family. We're having a hard time getting them to church, but we have an appointment with them tonight. Hopefully they've read more of the Book of Mormon

We also started teaching a girl who is best friends with a member of our ward. The ward here is amazing. Everyone is EXTREMELY willing to help with missionary work, whether that means feeding us (we have a dinner or lunch every day of the week) or coming to lessons with us. They really are amazing in the way they're so willing to serve. Anyway, we went to this appointment and started talking about the Restoration with this girl (who we shall call Dulce). She is super super receptive. She straight up said, "Yeah, I need this in my life. My family's been through hard times and I know this will help us. When you're not close to God, life isn't too bad, but when you're close to God, life is always better." Amazing. She's inviting her parents to come to our next lesson with her!

Que mas, que mas.... It's actually kind of cold here! It's a lot like Grayland in climate. It's not super humid, but it is kind of chilly. Apparently rainy season just started, and yep, it's rained a lot. I feel bad for the bike elders :p

I know you're probably wondering about Thanksgiving. Don't worry--we're taken care of. We already have THREE DINNER APPOINTMENTS for Thursday. Eek. Pray for me! I'm excited though, cuz one of the dinners is straight up Mexican, no turkey. :D"

"Other stuff..... uh... I don't know! I'm happy! I'm safe! I'm well-fed (REALLY well-fed. The members here go crazy at dinner.) and I'm glad I'm here."

Goodbye MTC

2011-11-20T20:22:00.000-08:00

Jessica left the MTC at 5:00am on November 16th. She got to call us from the airport and talk for 10 minutes. She said it still didn't feel real. Since she was in a class with native Spanish speakers, she isn't too worried about the language anymore, but she worries whether she is ready to be a good teacher.

We haven't heard anything since that conversation, but should get an email from her on ~~Wednesday~~ [Turns out her P-Day is actually Monday].

Last Preparation Day at the MTC

2011-11-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

Wowww, what a week this has been. The advanced class is CRAZY. I feel a lot more comfortable with the language now, and I've been trying to just open my mouth and talk instead of worrying about grammar. I LOVE my companion. Hermana Escobar and I completely click and it's great. I forgot my camera card so I can't send pictures, but hopefully they'll upload at the airport. Anyway, EVERYONE tells us that we look like sisters! It's kinda weird, cuz she's from El Salvador. So Rachel, I guess Cindy can be your twin and Hna Escobar can be mine!

We've been teaching three progressing investigators [actors who are helping as train]. One of them, Pablo, has been really trying for us. we've both been having a hard time connecting emotionally and spiritually with him, and it's really made us realize the importance of charity. If you have not charity, you really have nothing, because it's hard to feel the Spirit without charity. So we've been praying really hard for charity (see Moroni 7), and our last lesson did go a lot better. Our other investigator, Araceli, is progressing really well. She accepted a baptismal invitation, and it was so cool to feel pure JOY at seeing someone's willingness to follow the Savior. I know these investigators are not "real," but the feelings of the Spirit and of wanting them to have the gospel are real. Our other investigator's name is Hely. We taught her for the last time last night. it was quite the experience. It was our last lesson with her, and we've been inviting her over and over to be baptized beacuse we know she's ready. At the end of our lesson last night, she said that she would like to be baptized, but she doesn't think her husband will agree, so she'll just keep praying and reading the scriptures. It was so crazy to feel such deep disappointment to hear her basically decline a baptismal invitation, because we earnestly wanted her to enjoy the blessings of the baptismal covenant, and other covenants. It was a difficult thing to feel, but it was good preparation for what might happen (and probably will happen) in the field. Derek, it sounds like you had an experience like that this week. It makes you realize the depth of Heavenly Father's love for His children, as well as the depth of the importance of baptism and of making covenants. It's not just about being a baptized member--it's about eternal progression and the infinite love of our Heavenly Father."

"I won't get to write from the MTC again, so this is my last letter from here! I'll try and hand-write some letters and send them tonight, hopefully with pictures. There's just no time! But it's ok because I'm learning and growing a lot."

New MTC Address

2011-11-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

Because Jessica's district changed, her MTC address changed too. Please see the Write to Sister Croft page for the correct address.

Leaving the MTC Nov 15!

2011-11-03T18:29:00.000-07:00

Jessica has big news in her first email home:

First of all, I need to share some important news right away. I am leaving the MTC on NOVEMBER 15th!!! Yesterday I had a language assessment and they moved me to the advanced Spanish class, so now I only have two more weeks in the MTC. Estoy bien emocionada, pero very nervous as well! I'll be in Cali before THanksgiving! And I'll also get to call you at the airport really soon!

I had to change districts when I changed to Advanced Spanish, and that was super difficult. Even though it had only been a week, I really got close to my companions, Hna Hunter and Hna Mierow, and also my roommates, Hna Hopkins and Hna Checcittini. We were all crying when I moved to the other class, but it'll be ok because we'll still see each other and be in contact with each other. It was really hard to say goodbye to all of the elders too, because I feel like we became a little family.

So, my new district is great too! There are 4 elders and 4 sisters, including me. My new companion is Hna Escobar from..... CANADAAAA! Yeah! She's actually originally from El Salvador, but she lived in Canada before her mission. I love her already! We're gelling really quickly and it's great. Plus, she speaks Spanish at about 50000 mph, so it's good for me. Actually, EVERYBODY in my class habla muy rapido. The other 2 sisters are not native speakers, but they're both studying to be HS Spanish teachers, and everyone else is a native speaker. So I'm basically the only one who isn't great at Spanish! It's super scary. I think it's good though because I didn't feel pushed in the intermediate class, but now I DEFINITELY feel pushed, like to the limit. I think that it's good for me though, because although it felt super nice to be really confident in the intermediate class, I'm definitely more humble now because I'm the only one who can't speak spanish!

Quick Letter

2011-11-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

Jessica had a chance to do laundry and write a quick letter on Saturday October 30. Her first real p-day will be November 3. Here are some excerpts.

The MTC really is a time-warp! It is only Saturday and it feels like I've been here for FOREVER! Not in a bad way, but more in that our days here are super long. We pack a lot of things in to what really isn't a lot of time. The good thing about that is, our district is already becoming really close. There are 3 companionships- us, 3 hermanas, Elder Jones and Elder Mathias, and Elder Hoskins and Elder Davis. Elder Jones is the district leader. He gets our mail, so we have to be nice to him! :)

Ummm, what else... the food is ... ok. They had some type of pie yesterday (cherry? There's no way of knowing), and I tried one bite and almost puked. Don't worry, Rachel, I almost puked. Other than that it's not bad. The entrees are usually brown in color (you'd like it, Jonathan), but they always have wraps and salads, so I'm getting my veggies. And they also have BYU dougnuts and creamery ice cream too (Jared...)

Jessica then shared a cool experience they had teaching a mock investigator and said,

It's so awesome how the Spirit can testify and help us feel the Love of God even in a "mock" situation like this. The person playing Jose is an actor, of course, but the Spirit was still there, definitely, testifying of the Love of God for His children. Very awesome!

So, all in all, life is good. The first two days were hard because we sat literally all day, but yesterday we had our first gym period, thankfully. I'm surprisingly tired even though we're in bed by 10:30 and up around 6:15.

In the MTC

2011-10-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, October 26, 12:40pm we dropped Jessica off at the MTC. As a father, I think it was a little harder for me to drop off a daughter than it was to drop off a son (that protective instinct), but Jessica is well prepared and will be a great missionary. We received a letter in the mail that she wrote Wednesday not long after we dropped her off. Her are some excerpts.

"Wow. WOW! I'm in the MTC. WOW! It still kind of doesn't feel real! I do feel like I can echo Derek's words though. I've learned so much Spanish! :) Really though, just being around Spanish is so helpful. I have 2 companions - Hermana Hunter and Hermana Mierow. Hermana Hunter is from St. George and Hermana Mierow is from Texas.

There's so much -- I don't know what to say! Sorry you didn't get an email from me. Apparently not all of us get to email the day we enter, but I do get to write you a handwritten letter. So, I'm safe, I'm overwhelmed but happy, and I know I'm supposed to be here. The Spirit really is very strong here, and even though it was hard to say goodbye, I feel comforted. But, just so you know, my P-days are on Thursday. (But not this Thursday, so look for an email next Thursday).

So, I have to tell you about the tender mercies I've experienced so far. Right as I (tearfully) walked away from the car, I saw Holly! She was there to get some things from her classroom. Then, about 10 seconds later, the sister missionary who took my bags for me ended up being Hermana Howard, a girl from my freshman ward and my misison prep class! And then at our first meeting with the MTC presidency, Sister Daye, from Hillcrest, going to Taiwan, was sitting in my row. And during the meeting, Elder McCowan, a kid who I was a TA for, spoke for a few minutes and said hi to me. So that's several people within the first 2 hours of me getting here that I know! Totally a tender mercy. I think the Lord knows that the hardest thing for me is feeling alone, so He allowed a bunch of people I know to be here for me.

I only have a couple minutes left, so I'll stop here...."

Man... this is crazy.

Soooooo crazy.

But so great.

Today's the day

2011-10-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

So. Today I'll be set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. After 8:30 tonight, when i will be set apart, my life will be a lot different. There's a part of me that feels like this is totally surreal--that I'm not actually going to be entering the MTC in less than 24 hours, that I'm not going to be starting a completely new chapter of my life, that I'm not really going to be Hermana Croft instead of Jessica for 18 months. However, there's another part of me that feels that this is all normal--that of course this is the next step for me, that it's natural that I'll be on the Lord's errand for a year and a half, and that I can't think of anything else I should do instead. It's a strange combination of emotions.

People keep asking me what's going through my mind right now, and I keep telling them that I feel like my brain has turned off because my heart is in overdrive. It's been a very emotional few weeks as I've prepared to leave. My heart is bursting with a lot of things--gratitude for the charity and support that my friends, family, and ward members have shown me; nervousness and excitement about all of the things that I'm about to experience; loneliness because of the people I'm leaving behind; and also an immense love for many people, both the people in my life right now and the people I'm about to encounter in the MTC and in California. While my heart is very full, and even a little chaotic, my mind is calm (at least in comparison). For the past few weeks, my mind has been a mess, but today, as I'm very near to departure, my mind is more clear. I'm realizing that I really only have one thing to think about--my commitment to doing the will of my Heavenly Father. I don't have to freak out about Spanish or whether or not I have enough clothes, or whether or not my companions will like me. I don't need to stress about graduate school, or my bank account, or who will be married and gone by the time I get back. I only have to think about being committed to doing my best to do what I've been called to do, which is to bring others to Jesus Christ. I'm confident that as long as I am committed, the other things will come naturally. I'll have the desire and the ability to study, to care for others, to work hard, and to push through the loneliness and let-downs. What's more, I know that God does bless us for serving Him by serving others.

While I do feel inadequate for what I'm about to do, and while I am quite scared for what lies ahead, I'm also ready to start this. The biggest thing that's driving me forward right now is the tie I already feel with the people I'm about to meet. I've never felt like this before--so connected with people that I don't even know yet. It's very humbling, and very motivating for me, because I want these individuals to be able to hear the message that has brought so much into my life--that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, and that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is His church. I can't think of any other message I'd rather share.

Called to serve

2011-09-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

My mission call came in the mail on Wednesday August 31st. I opened it at 10:00 PM and very happily read,

Dear Sister Croft: You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the California Oakland/San Francisco Mission. . . You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, October 26, 2011. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Spanish language.

I am so excited! The thought of serving in California had actually not crossed my mind at all. Before I opened my call, my best guess had been Canada, but I had never guessed California. It feels totally comfortable though, and I am so excited to serve! I am especially excited to become fluent in Spanish. I know the Lord has given me this assignment because it's exactly where I need to be, and I'm sure that will become more and more clear as time goes on.

So now, some facts I've learned about my mission area (mostly from Wikipedia):

Oakland is the 8th-largest city in California. San Francisco is the 4th most populous city in CA and 13th most populous in the United States
Oakland has a Mediterranean climate with an average of 300 sunny days a year. YESSS.
San Francisco has the oldest Chinatown in the United States
The racial makeup of San Francisco is 48.5% White, 6.1 % African American, 0.5% Native American, 33.3 % Asian, 0.4% Pacific Islander, 6.6 "Other, " 4.7% mixed race, and 15.1% Hispanic or Latino. Oakland is similarly super diverse. Awesome!
Oakland has been consistently listed as one of the country's most dangerous large cities. Nice.

pictaaaaaas:

The call is coming!

2011-08-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

My mission call should be arriving this week! I'm not even sure how to label my emotions right now. (That sounded very therapist-y....) I'm feeling a little (very) crazy because I've been able to imagine everything up until the moment of me opening that white envelope. I have no idea how to even comprehend anything beyond that moment. But hopefully I won't have to wait much longer to open the envelope and read my assignment. I'm guessing Wednesday or Thursday! We shall see...