Goodbye MTC

Jessica left the MTC at 5:00am on November 16th. She got to call us from the airport and talk for 10 minutes. She said it still didn't feel real. Since she was in a class with native Spanish speakers, she isn't too worried about the language anymore, but she worries whether she is ready to be a good teacher.

We haven't heard anything since that conversation, but should get an email from her on Wednesday [Turns out her P-Day is actually Monday].

Last Preparation Day at the MTC

Wowww, what a week this has been. The advanced class is CRAZY. I feel a lot more comfortable with the language now, and I've been trying to just open my mouth and talk instead of worrying about grammar. I LOVE my companion. Hermana Escobar and I completely click and it's great. I forgot my camera card so I can't send pictures, but hopefully they'll upload at the airport. Anyway, EVERYONE tells us that we look like sisters! It's kinda weird, cuz she's from El Salvador. So Rachel, I guess Cindy can be your twin and Hna Escobar can be mine!

We've been teaching three progressing investigators [actors who are helping as train]. One of them, Pablo, has been really trying for us. we've both been having a hard time connecting emotionally and spiritually with him, and it's really made us realize the importance of charity. If you have not charity, you really have nothing, because it's hard to feel the Spirit without charity. So we've been praying really hard for charity (see Moroni 7), and our last lesson did go a lot better. Our other investigator, Araceli, is progressing really well. She accepted a baptismal invitation, and it was so cool to feel pure JOY at seeing someone's willingness to follow the Savior. I know these investigators are not "real," but the feelings of the Spirit and of wanting them to have the gospel are real. Our other investigator's name is Hely. We taught her for the last time last night. it was quite the experience. It was our last lesson with her, and we've been inviting her over and over to be baptized beacuse we know she's ready. At the end of our lesson last night, she said that she would like to be baptized, but she doesn't think her husband will agree, so she'll just keep praying and reading the scriptures. It was so crazy to feel such deep disappointment to hear her basically decline a baptismal invitation, because we earnestly wanted her to enjoy the blessings of the baptismal covenant, and other covenants. It was a difficult thing to feel, but it was good preparation for what might happen (and probably will happen) in the field. Derek, it sounds like you had an experience like that this week. It makes you realize the depth of Heavenly Father's love for His children, as well as the depth of the importance of baptism and of making covenants. It's not just about being a baptized member--it's about eternal progression and the infinite love of our Heavenly Father."

"I won't get to write from the MTC again, so this is my last letter from here! I'll try and hand-write some letters and send them tonight, hopefully with pictures. There's just no time! But it's ok because I'm learning and growing a lot."

New MTC Address

Because Jessica's district changed, her MTC address changed too. Please see the Write to Sister Croft page for the correct address.

Leaving the MTC Nov 15!

Jessica has big news in her first email home:

First of all, I need to share some important news right away. I am leaving the MTC on NOVEMBER 15th!!! Yesterday I had a language assessment and they moved me to the advanced Spanish class, so now I only have two more weeks in the MTC. Estoy bien emocionada, pero very nervous as well! I'll be in Cali before THanksgiving! And I'll also get to call you at the airport really soon!

I had to change districts when I changed to Advanced Spanish, and that was super difficult. Even though it had only been a week, I really got close to my companions, Hna Hunter and Hna Mierow, and also my roommates, Hna Hopkins and Hna Checcittini. We were all crying when I moved to the other class, but it'll be ok because we'll still see each other and be in contact with each other. It was really hard to say goodbye to all of the elders too, because I feel like we became a little family.

So, my new district is great too! There are 4 elders and 4 sisters, including me. My new companion is Hna Escobar from..... CANADAAAA! Yeah! She's actually originally from El Salvador, but she lived in Canada before her mission. I love her already! We're gelling really quickly and it's great. Plus, she speaks Spanish at about 50000 mph, so it's good for me. Actually, EVERYBODY in my class habla muy rapido. The other 2 sisters are not native speakers, but they're both studying to be HS Spanish teachers, and everyone else is a native speaker. So I'm basically the only one who isn't great at Spanish! It's super scary. I think it's good though because I didn't feel pushed in the intermediate class, but now I DEFINITELY feel pushed, like to the limit. I think that it's good for me though, because although it felt super nice to be really confident in the intermediate class, I'm definitely more humble now because I'm the only one who can't speak spanish!

Quick Letter

Jessica had a chance to do laundry and write a quick letter on Saturday October 30. Her first real p-day will be November 3. Here are some excerpts.

The MTC really is a time-warp! It is only Saturday and it feels like I've been here for FOREVER! Not in a bad way, but more in that our days here are super long. We pack a lot of things in to what really isn't a lot of time. The good thing about that is, our district is already becoming really close. There are 3 companionships- us, 3 hermanas, Elder Jones and Elder Mathias, and Elder Hoskins and Elder Davis. Elder Jones is the district leader. He gets our mail, so we have to be nice to him! :)

Ummm, what else... the food is ... ok. They had some type of pie yesterday (cherry? There's no way of knowing), and I tried one bite and almost puked. Don't worry, Rachel, I almost puked. Other than that it's not bad. The entrees are usually brown in color (you'd like it, Jonathan), but they always have wraps and salads, so I'm getting my veggies. And they also have BYU dougnuts and creamery ice cream too (Jared...)

Jessica then shared a cool experience they had teaching a mock investigator and said,

It's so awesome how the Spirit can testify and help us feel the Love of God even in a "mock" situation like this. The person playing Jose is an actor, of course, but the Spirit was still there, definitely, testifying of the Love of God for His children. Very awesome!

So, all in all, life is good. The first two days were hard because we sat literally all day, but yesterday we had our first gym period, thankfully. I'm surprisingly tired even though we're in bed by 10:30 and up around 6:15.

In the MTC

On Wednesday, October 26, 12:40pm we dropped Jessica off at the MTC. As a father, I think it was a little harder for me to drop off a daughter than it was to drop off a son (that protective instinct), but Jessica is well prepared and will be a great missionary. We received a letter in the mail that she wrote Wednesday not long after we dropped her off. Her are some excerpts.

"Wow. WOW! I'm in the MTC. WOW! It still kind of doesn't feel real! I do feel like I can echo Derek's words though. I've learned so much Spanish! :) Really though, just being around Spanish is so helpful. I have 2 companions - Hermana Hunter and Hermana Mierow. Hermana Hunter is from St. George and Hermana Mierow is from Texas.

There's so much -- I don't know what to say! Sorry you didn't get an email from me. Apparently not all of us get to email the day we enter, but I do get to write you a handwritten letter. So, I'm safe, I'm overwhelmed but happy, and I know I'm supposed to be here. The Spirit really is very strong here, and even though it was hard to say goodbye, I feel comforted. But, just so you know, my P-days are on Thursday. (But not this Thursday, so look for an email next Thursday).

So, I have to tell you about the tender mercies I've experienced so far. Right as I (tearfully) walked away from the car, I saw Holly! She was there to get some things from her classroom. Then, about 10 seconds later, the sister missionary who took my bags for me ended up being Hermana Howard, a girl from my freshman ward and my misison prep class! And then at our first meeting with the MTC presidency, Sister Daye, from Hillcrest, going to Taiwan, was sitting in my row. And during the meeting, Elder McCowan, a kid who I was a TA for, spoke for a few minutes and said hi to me. So that's several people within the first 2 hours of me getting here that I know! Totally a tender mercy. I think the Lord knows that the hardest thing for me is feeling alone, so He allowed a bunch of people I know to be here for me.

I only have a couple minutes left, so I'll stop here...."

Man... this is crazy.

Soooooo crazy.

But so great.

Today's the day

So.  Today I'll be set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  After 8:30 tonight, when i will be set apart, my life will be a lot different.  There's a part of me that feels like this is totally surreal--that I'm not actually going to be entering the MTC in less than 24 hours, that I'm not going to be starting a completely new chapter of my life, that I'm not really going to be Hermana Croft instead of Jessica for 18 months.  However, there's another part of me that feels that this is all normal--that of course this is the next step for me, that it's natural that I'll be on the Lord's errand for a year and a half, and that I can't think of anything else I should do instead.  It's a strange combination of emotions.

People keep asking me what's going through my mind right now, and I keep telling them that I feel like my brain has turned off because my heart is in overdrive.  It's been a very emotional few weeks as I've prepared to leave. My heart is bursting with a lot of things--gratitude for the charity and support that my friends, family, and ward members have shown me; nervousness and excitement about all of the things that I'm about to experience; loneliness because of the people I'm leaving behind; and also an immense love for many people, both the people in my life right now and the people I'm about to encounter in the MTC and in California.  While my heart is very full, and even a little chaotic, my mind is calm (at least in comparison).  For the past few weeks, my mind has been a mess, but today, as I'm very near to departure, my mind is more clear.  I'm realizing that I really only have one thing to think about--my commitment to doing the will of my Heavenly Father.  I don't have to freak out about Spanish or whether or not I have enough clothes, or whether or not my companions will like me.  I don't need to stress about graduate school, or my bank account, or who will be married and gone by the time I get back.  I only have to think about being committed to doing my best to do what I've been called to do, which is to bring others to Jesus Christ.  I'm confident that as long as I am committed, the other things will come naturally.  I'll have the desire and the ability to study, to care for others, to work hard, and to push through the loneliness and let-downs.  What's more, I know that God does bless us for serving Him by serving others.

While I do feel inadequate for what I'm about to do, and while I am quite scared for what lies ahead, I'm also ready to start this.  The biggest thing that's driving me forward right now is the tie I already feel with the people I'm about to meet.  I've never felt like this before--so connected with people that I don't even know yet.  It's very humbling, and very motivating for me, because I want these individuals to be able to hear the message that has brought so much into my life--that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, and that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is His church.  I can't think of any other message I'd rather share.